I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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