I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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