They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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