I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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