I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is the high leading the old right now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need a beard to bite.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
