There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
