Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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