Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
