I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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