I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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