You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
