Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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