I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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