Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
