Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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