I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
