so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we're so committed to being not committed
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
