Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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