You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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