i permit you to call me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
