so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize