"it" just moved
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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