Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it's like heaven, but drunker
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
