what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize