Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
