You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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