We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
