I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
