Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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