I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize