Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
