woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
