Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
