my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
