U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
