Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
