Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
