I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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