so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
her vagine was all disorganized.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
