Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i believe in u and ur pee
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
