just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whose parrot is this?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
