going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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