Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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