Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
