he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
