Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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