Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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