What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
