We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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