i was rollin on her like bob the builder
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
