i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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