Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
