i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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