We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
