Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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