the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
