Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
