I can text with my tongue
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
