Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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