I think im going to throw up on grandma
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
