carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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