i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
