Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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