non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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